Lessons in SasuHina Shipping
by Meruhen Wind
Summary: Tacky title, I know. Comes from my brain having been turned to mush by high school lectures. Chapter Two: In which Sasuke is NOT a couch potato. Pairing should be obvious, I think. XD
1. Nickname

Author's Note: Err...yeah. I was originally gonna add this to "Of Dolls and Manly Honor", but the time's kind of different, and so is the premise...I think.

Anyway. This is yet another one-shot, written to answer a weird SasuHina-related question I asked myself when I was bored out of my mind in school. The cheesy, awkward, and downright uncool title...is the result of my brain turning to mush after a teacher's speech. I actually thought out most of the story the first week of school, but it's taken me over a month to find the piece of paper I originally wrote it down on. XD

So. Um...yeah. I hope you enjoy. :)

* * *

Lessons in SasuHina Shipping

First impressions count. Uchiha Sasuke, for example, was a brilliant example of this. Blackish-blue hair, a spiky, gravity-defying haircut, an eternal almost-smirk on his otherwise stoic face-he practically _radiated_ coolness. In that cool, "I'm turning five and a _half _in a few weeks and _you_ aren't" way, of course.

Why was this coolness important right now? Simple. It was the first day of school and while regular five year olds cried and pouted and did non-ninja-like things, _Sasuke_ was...well, doing the exact same thing.

"Sasuke, please stop sniffling. It's only for a few hours...besides, you want to become a good ninja like your papa and I, right?"

"I'm _not_ sniffling," Sasuke mumbled, eyelashes suspiciously wet.

"Sasuke...Itachi might come in to help one of the teachers demonstrate the importance of clan traits. You don't want your older brother to see you cry, right?"

In less than three seconds, Sasuke's face was completely dry-eyed and looking as cool as a five year old's face could try to be.

"That's better! I hope you enjoy your first day of school, dear!" his mother said cheerfully as she walked away.

Sasuke briefly wondered whether his mommy was aware of her own trickiness.

"U-u-um...excuse me, but you haven't s-seen a boy named Neji around here, h-have you?" Sasuke turned around to see a stammering girl his own age glancing nervously at him.

"How would I know what his name was?" he asked.

"H-he k-kinda looks like m-me," she added.

"Oh. Same eye color?"

"Y-yes. He's my nii-san, only I sort of got seperated from him," she explained apologetically.

_Oh. A nii-san_. Sasuke nodded sympathetically. "If he's also got long hair and doesn't smile much, he went that way," he said, pointing a direction.

"Thanks. A-ah, my name's Hinata."

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke. Good luck finding your nii-san."

"Thanks," the girl repeated with a smile as she ran off.

Sasuke blinked before smiling back.

Huh, this girl wasn't so strange. Sasuke wondered what Itachi-niisan had meant when he'd pulled him to the side in the morning and warned him about female classmates. Hinata wasn't scary at all!

Five minutes later, Sasuke ran into other, non-Hinata girls.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he confirmed the fact that yes, Itachi was always right.

Girls were very scary indeed.

* * *

As soon as he entered the classroom he was assigned to, Sasuke spotted the girl from before. Hinata, he thought, slightly proud that he'd remembered the name. He waved to her for two seconds before he realized that it didn't look cool. Besides, it certainly wasn't the kind of impression he wanted to leave on his classmates. Looking back up at Hinata, Sasuke realized something:

The girl was blushing at what that blond idiot had said, and ignoring him. _Ignoring_ him. Him, Uchiha Sasuke of all people. Sasuke gave a slight cough and, speaking his first words since he'd entered the crummy classroom, said in his very calmest voice...

"You look like a tomato."

Large pale eyes turned to look at him as the girl's cheeks reddened even more and her lower lip started wobbling.

"I...I'm sorry..."

"You've got nothing to apologize for, Hinata-chan!" Naruto smiled comfortingly. Just as quickly, he turned around and glared at Sasuke, pouncing on the opportunity to pick a fight. "Errrgh, you're a moron! She doesn't look like a tomato at all! Hina-chan looks like a girl, so _there_!"

"...whatever."

* * *

Sasuke quickly got bored. School wasn't interesting at all-he'd learned all of these basics quite a few months ago. Unattentive eyes roaming, he became aware of the fact that Hinata was conveniently sitting in front of him, sitting up as uncomfortably straight as humanly possible.

"Hey. Tomato."

He watched with amusement as the girl turned around, cheeks turning a pale pink already. "Um...it's Hinata...um...what's y-your name, again? Ah, th-that's right, Naruto-kun said I should t-try to make friends...um...i-it's nice to meet you."

Sasuke gave her a blank stare. This girl was an idiot if she could remember Narutard's name and not _his_.

"What, you have a crush on me too like the other girls? No way, you'll give me cooties."

Cheeks flamed a full red. "I-I t-t-thought we might b-be friends," she stuttered, obviously upset.

"...it's Sasuke," he half mumbled afterwards, softer.

* * *

Dinnertime was important to Sasuke. For one, it was a time when he could actually see his mommy and daddy and Itachi-niisan all at once. For another, it meant dessert right afterwards, and being the smallest meant getting the extra-big piece.

That's why Sasuke became enraged when he spotted an unknown food on his plate. "What's this?" he asked, poking around it carefully in case it turned out to be from an unacceptable food group.

"It's a tomato," his mother explained patiently.

"What's that?"

"It's a kind of vegetable. It's good for you," his mommy said soothingly.

"Botanically speaking, it's a fruit. Not that good for him, considering the alternatives," Itachi-niisan corrected disinterestedly before resuming his meal.

Sasuke blinked at the fruit. Vegetable. Whatever.

It was red and soft and harmless-looking, but somewhere deep within his childhood wisdom, Sasuke knew it was evil. Stuff that his mommy said was good for him usually was.

"Sasuke, just _try_ it," his mommy's voice said, loud and exasperated.

"No. I don't wanna," Sasuke insisted, lower lip shaping into what looked suspiciously like a pout.

"It's good," his mother insisted.

"No."

Tomatoes were weird. They were strange and unknown, and you couldn't tell how they'd taste-at least with fruits and vegetables, you knew what to expect. Fruits were sickeningly sweet and got crushed easily and generally meant a mess. If anything, vegetables were worse-they tasted dull and watery or tough and flavorless or were annoyingly spicy. Sasuke disliked fruits and he didn't like vegetables.

Tomatoes, on the other hand, were different. Sasuke was sure in his five-year-old mind that he _hated_ them.

* * *

The next day of school was show-and-tell day-something, Sasuke concluded, that was just a way to waste time while kids decided who had the better toy. He'd brought an honest-to-goodness jutsu scroll, of course, and sat by boredly while everything from puppies to empty instant ramen cups were introduced. Finally, it was Hinata's turn.

"U-um, I b-brought t-tomatoes f-for s-show-and-tell...I uh, g-grew them myself." Sasuke resisted the urge to tease Hinata, five-year-old curiosity getting the best of him. The basket she was holding was full of the suspicious food his mother had been trying to feed him for a week-why would anybody his age willingly grow such stuff?

"Did you really grow the tomatoes yourself? That must have required a lot of patience, Hinata. You should be very proud of yourself," Iruka said kindly, smiling at her.

Hinata nodded, tiny blush on her face. "I-if anybody w-wants a-any...p-please feel f-free..."

Five year old and six year old faces, Naruto's included, scrunched up with disgust. Eat vegetables? No way!

Realizing the tomatoes were unwanted, Hinata's face fell.

"Hey, Tomato," Sasuke began.

Hinata looked up at him, cringing as soon as she heard the nickname. It was almost as if she was afraid of him, Sasuke thought. "U-um...yes?"

"I'll guess I'll have one," he said resignedly, walking up to the front of the class and grabbing the closest tomato.

"U-um...th-thanks," she murmured so softly it took all of Sasuke's ears' abilities to hear.

* * *

...just because he was biting it didn't mean he'd like it. In fact, one bite and Sasuke was sure he'd hate it more than anything in the-

Sasuke's eyes widened.

The tomato had a pale sweet flavor, as if it was candy that had had all the sugar taken out of it but was still juicy.

It tasted a bit bland, and there was a hint of tartness there, as if the tomato fell just short of having personality.

It tasted, in short, nothing like either a fruit or a vegetable. More like a weird, weak hybrid.

_Sasuke loved it_.

* * *

"U-um...Sasuke? Would you l-like another tomato, th-then?" Hinata asked, cheeks still red.

"Since you insist, Toma-Hinata," he muttered, grabbing another and biting into it suspiciously quickly.

Okay so tomatoes weren't bad at all. They weren't fruits and they weren't vegetables-they were in a class of their own. So maybe Sasuke really liked them. All of this meant three things:

One: The nickname "Tomato" really did suit Hinata.

Two: It suited her so well Sasuke would now have to stop calling her that.

And

Three: If he planned on getting grades anywhere near Itachi's, less classtime should be spent thinking of ways to make Hinata blush.

* * *

_Lesson One: In which we learn why Sasuke likes tomatoes_

* * *

Author's Note:

Yup. This would be the first time I've finished a story this late at night, so forgive me if it's too cheesy/weird/strange. I just felt really guilty about not posting up anything original in the last month. That, and I really wanted to post this story up after it being stuck unwritten in my head for so long. If anybody can think of a better title for this series, please help, since I have no creativity when it comes to titles myself. :)


	2. Hobby

Author's Note: Er…it's been quite a while since I last updated, hasn't it? Um…I actually don't have anything to blame it on this time. 'Cept my lousy English grades and really strict parents. I've been busy pulling up my grade and being in band. (Lousy excuse, I know.) At any rate, I should probably be able to update a little more consistently for a little while. Anyway, here's the very tardy Chapter 2. :)

* * *

Ninjas were some of the most physically-fit people on the planet. Sprinting, dodging, aiming, bobbing, balancing, punching, stretching, kicking-a good ninja-in-training knew how to do all of it. Above all, a good ninja-in-training should have an excellent stamina. A good ninja-in-training would never, ever- 

"Sasuke!"

"Yes, mommy?"

"Do you want to take a walk with Mommy?"

Sasuke made a face. "But I just got back from _school_ and we were finger-painting all _day_, and it's almost four o'clock and Power Rangers is on!"

----

-a good ninja in-training would never, ever get tired.

Much less act like a couch potato.

Unfortunately, Uchiha Sasuke was also a six-year-old with a current fixation on a mind-numbing kid's television show.

---

"Sasuke, would you rather watch TV or go and get some fresh air?" his mommy protested.

"TV."

"You might even get to see one of your classmates!" his mommy hinted with a smile.

"Definitely TV," Sasuke repeated with a shudder.

"Why's that?" his mommy asked confusedly.

"Classmates mean fifty percent chance of girls, and girls mean icky cooties or something along those lines, according to Itachi-niisan!"

"For the record," Itachi interrupted, having entered the room during the converstation, "I said girls are an annoyance, not that they have something as childish as cooties. It's stupid to think someone carries an illness based solely on their gender and not something more important like clan affiliation or village."

Drat. Sasuke had been so sure 'icky cooties' had sounded cool too.

"Now if you'll excuse me," Itachi muttered, sitting down on the couch with the TV remote in hand.

* * *

"See, Sasuke? Walking sure clears your head. Isn't this more fun than sitting at home, watching TV?" 

"Dumb Itachi hogging the TV," Sasuke mumbled with what looked suspiciously like a pout.

* * *

"So how was your day, Sasuke?" his mommy asked him as they started to walk through a completely abandoned, completely silent path. 

"Fine," he blurted out automatically. "We finger-painted," he added after a few seconds of silence. "Sensei said we had to paint something that made us feel happy. Most of the girls ended up painting dumb things like dresses," he said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"What did you paint, Sasuke?" his mommy asked curiously.

"Our crest," he answered matter-of-factly. "Sensei said it was very accurate for a six-year-old. It was definitely better than all of the other kids'."

His mother frowned a bit. "Really? There wasn't anybody else's that you liked?"

"Of course not! It was all dumb stuff."

"That's too bad."

"…"

"…"

"There was one I liked. It was a picture of a flower. It wasn't very good or anything," he added quickly. "Mines was _lots_ better. 'Sides, there were lots of flower pictures, so it wasn't very special."

"Oh? Why did you like it?"

"I dunno. It just felt happy."

"And who painted it?"

"That's the dumb thing. Sensei really liked it but when he showed it to the entire class, nobody claimed it."

"And there was no name on it?" his mother asked.

"Nope. And it's also weird beca-" Sasuke stopped in his tracks as he finally looked up from the ground. "Mommy?"

"Yes, Sasuke?"

"You said we were taking a walk."

"We are."

"Then why have we been heading in one direction this entire time?"

"That's generally how you take walks, Sasuke."

"But we've been walking for a long time. We should have turned back by now. Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"We're going to visit your friend that lives in that compound, aren't we?"

His mommy smiled guiltily and for the hundredth time, Sasuke thought his mommy was very, very sneaky indeed.

"She has a garden with very pretty flowers," she smiled, "maybe even better than your classmate's finger-painting, ne?"

Sasuke scowled and decided to stick to a "Fine" no matter what, next time his mommy asked him how his day was.

* * *

While his mommy chatted away with her friend, Sasuke stifled a yawn. Pretty flowers were definitely _not _as interesting as Power Rangers. Absent-mindedly, he sat down near a smaller flower patch. 

"U-um…hello. W-why a-are you in my g-garden?" a familiar voice squeaked out.

Sasuke turned around and frowned. "Who are you again?" he asked the pale-eyed girl that was his classmate.

"H-Hinata. H-Hyuuga Hinata. M-my cousin's N-Neji-niisan."

"You're in my class and he isn't. I think I'd remember you before him," he said, annoyed.

"Oh. Um, sorry. Most people remember him better."

"So this is your garden?" Sasuke asked, looking at the small flower patch with renewed interest.

"Um, y-yes."

"Seems like a lot of work for a six-year-old."

"U-um, I'm o-only five. My birthday's in D-December. There aren't very many flowers around th-then, so I like g-growing them-flowers, I mean-when they _can_ grow."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, giving a well-rehearsed blank stare.

With what seemed to be a familiar blush, Hinata looked up. "W-well…th-that's because s-seeing flowers makes me h-happy."

Sasuke blinked and stared fiercely at Hinata's face. "You were the one who painted that flower Sensei liked so much, weren't you?"

Blushing harder (if that was even possible…) Hinata shook her head frantically.

Sasuke smirked. "You're really bad at lying. I won't tell anybody though, since you can't seem to handle attention."

Hinata looked up and smiled at him for a brief second before Sasuke felt his hand being tugged.

"Time to go, Sasuke," his mommy said aloud.

If the look on his mommy's face was any indication, not only was she very sneaky, but she purposely had the worst timing possible.

Oh well. It wasn't as if it was that important to him anyway-it was only a walk, and it wasn't as if she had interrupted an interesting conversation or anything-

* * *

"Sasuke! Power Rangers is on," his mommy told him a day later, with a slightly devious smile on her face. 

Sasuke made sure to keep his face blank.

"Why Sasuke, why are you grabbing your scarf?"

"It's cold outside," he explained sensibly. "I'm going to need it if I'm going to take a walk with you, aren't I?

---

_Lesson Two: In which we learn why Sasuke likes taking walks_

_---_

* * *

Author's Note: Believe it or not, it's based off a very serious conversation Sasuke and Hinata had in _Stuffy Noses_. Having quit writing for so long, I decided to recycle one of my plot bunnies. 

And yes, Power Rangers. I realize it'd probably be called Super Sentai or something over in Japan, but I couldn't resist. Six year old Sasuke would be just as vulnerable to addiction to cheesy superhero shows as other six year olds, right? XD

And, just for fun, one of the paragraphs I ended up cutting out:

"_B-but I was…here first…um…Itachi-niisan, are you going to watch-?"_

_Blank silence._

_As the TV screen flickered on to show something that definitely wasn't power-suited, super-hero action, Sasuke grabbed his mommy's hand and yanked her out to take a walk._

Anyway. Please read and review. Mainly because it's been months since I've written something even remotely fun and not standard-student-essay-response-to-the-yuckiest-topics-schools-can-give-you-about-century-old-books. :)


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